I can't afford my friends' group trips
<div class="user-question">Help... I just took a look at my calendar & confirmed that I'm drowning in social commitments. I'm at the age where everyone is getting married, turning 30, having international bachelorettes... I don't want to miss out on these huge milestone moments, but I'm drowning in the cost of all of these. What do I do?</div>
As social creatures, we thrive on connections and cherish events spent with friends and family. Birthdays, bachelorette parties, and other social gatherings offer perfect opportunities to celebrate and bond. But all these events often come with a financial burden, especially when you're still building your career, barely have had time to set yourself up financially, and are in the midst of paying off your student loans.
I remember when I graduated college, three of my sorority sisters were getting married in different parts of the country and two of them organized international bachelorette parties. Not only did I have to budget for the weddings and the trips, but I also had to explain to my boss why I was requesting two weeks off when I had just started working at the company.
It’s natural to want to be part of every celebration. These events are not just about the occasion, but about the memories created, the laughter shared, and the bonds strengthened. Yet, the cost associated with gifts, travel, and participation can quickly add up. Here's the pep talk I wish someone gave me, when I was in your shoes.
1️⃣ Plan ahead and set a boundary
The key to managing your finances during social events is to plan ahead and set boundaries. When I had to pay $2k for a bachelorette, I made sure that I prepared myself months beforehand. It's also fair to point out that attending the bachelorette is a gift already. You don't have to be buying additional gifts. Quite frankly, this applies to birthday trips as well. If you're paying to travel for someone's birthday, that's the gift.
My tips:
- Set limits and expectations: Don’t be afraid to ask upfront how much everything will cost so you can stay on top of budgeting before going on the trip.
- It's OK to say NO: Recognize that if you are not close to someone or truly cannot swing it, it’s ok to say no to attending a bachelorette trip or no to a birthday trip. A real friend will understand.
<div class="frich-tip">Frich tip: The key is to save ahead & keep this money in a HYSA. SoFi Checking & Savings lets you earn up to ~4.00% APY when you set up direct deposit, with no account fees and FDIC insurance. See SoFi rates & bonus. Terms apply.</div>
2️⃣ Share costs and find alternatives
When it comes to elaborate trips and birthdays, the costs can skyrocket.
So don't be afraid to suggest alternatives! If you're struggling to pay, I guarantee, you're not the only one in the group thinking it.
I remember during one 5-day bachelorette trip I attended, we opted to do stay-at-home lunches and dinners. Since we were going to be there for almost a week, everyone took turns cooking, which turned out to be a really fun experience. We also pooled enough money to gift the bride a spa day instead of each of us spending money for individual smaller gifts.
My tips:
- Group gifting: Pool resources with friends to buy a single, meaningful gift rather than multiple smaller ones. Spa days are always my go-to.
- Budget-friendly dinner parties: Instead of going out to eat every night during a bachelorette weekend, plan a fun night in with games and movies.
<div class="frich-tip">Frich tip: Stay intentional with how you spend your money - splurge on what matters & cut where it doesn't. Personally, I don't care which flight I'm taking, this is not what I splurge on. There are so many websites & tools that help you find great deals on flights. Here's the one I love that offers up to 90% cheaper flights!</div>
3️⃣ Embracing a balanced social life
Attending social gatherings is essential for maintaining strong relationships and creating cherished memories. However, it’s crucial to balance this with your financial well-being. By planning ahead, getting creative with gifts, and sharing costs, you can enjoy social events without the stress of overspending.
Remember, the essence of these gatherings lies in the connections and moments shared, not the amount of money spent. When I look back at any of the birthdays or bachelorettes I attended, I recognize that what mattered to my friends the most was my presence, not the money I spent on these events. With thoughtful budgeting and a bit of creativity, you can continue to be part of the celebrations without breaking the bank!
<div class="frich-tip">Frich tip: While yes, you should take care of your financial wellbeing, you shouldn't forbid yourself from enjoying the money you've worked hard to earn. But stay smart with it! If you live in a big city, check out SELECT - a membership that gives you incredible discounts at popular restaurants & venues.</div>
Found this valuable? Here are some more deep dives from the Frich team 🤝
✅ How to avoid paying credit card interest & fees
✅ How much $$$ should I have before turning 30?
✅ How to pay off credit card debt
You got this!
Kristina Tubera
